Little Red and the Wolves

goodwillintheworld asked: What is an embarrassing moment from your life? Childhood, adolescence, adulthood; everything's game.

Okay, since I’m here at work and I’m bored, I thought I’d finally answer this question. The reason why I have procrastinated is because I have a ton of embarrassing moments.

One funny random piece of information about me is that I get embarrassed really easily. I get embarrassed for other people. Even in TV shows and movies.

One of my personal embarrassing moments was on my mission.

I was in the MTC in the country of my mission. I had been there for 3 weeks already so the MTC president invited my district to go out to pizza and to see the city.

We were so excited to finally go to Pizza Hut.

When we got there the President invited us to order anything that we would like. I was craving pepperoni so I ordered a personal 8 pieced pepperoni pizza and a big frozen lemonade.

It looks so tantalizing doesn’t it? I ate that whole pizza and drank 2 of those lemonades by the time we were to leave and go see the city.

Life was great! We went to an overlook of the huge rock beach in the city! All of the elders and sisters were laughing and rejoicing in being in the world.

Then it hit me.

I felt a lurch in my lower stomach. I needed to do the big numero 2 right away. As we drove to another nearby beach and got out of the van, I asked my president if there was bathroom at the beach. He looked around pointed to a building a hundred yards away. I quickly walked over, without a companion because they were close anyway.

It was locked.

I felt my stomach sink, and not in a good way. I went back to my president and told him that I needed a bathroom very badly. He said that I would have to wait until we entered the city to use a public restroom but he immediately called everyone over to pile into the car to start the voyage.

My stomach hurt as if I was giving birth or controlling every inch of my intestines in order to keep it all in. I could tell that the other missionaries could see that I was in pain and in trouble. But the President was doing his best to get us into town. We were driving when we were met with this.

When I saw all of the cars stopped, I knew I had lost the battle. I was going to crap my pants. I was going to “lose my shit” (forgive the horrible pun).

But my pride won out. I kept holding even though I was in so much pain. I’m pretty sure I pulled myself harder into my seat so that I could block and possible exit. I believe I passed out a couple of times, luckily I didn’t release.

FINALLY, after what was supposed to be a 15 minute drive that turned into a 45 minute drive, we pulled into the Capital and parked in a public parking garage. I got out and asked my president where the bloody bathroom would be. We began walking up a ramp and I saw those beloved signs.

I almost ran but then I knew that if I did I would accidentally release the flood gates that I was clenching together. I calmly and in a self respecting manner walked up to the bathroom and almost entered.

I noticed there was a little kiosk in front of the doors. There was a man standing there and as I walked up he said, “Number 1 or number 2?” I said “Number 2” and he said, “30 cents”. I realized I had no money with me. o_O Just as all hope was lost, my mission president walked up and payed the man, who then handed me a handful of toilet paper. I almost cried.

I ran in.

Blew up and finished the horrible horrible deed, vowing to never eat at Pizza Hut and immediately go sight seeing ever again.

As I walked out, one of the sisters I respected and liked a lot asked “You gonna be alright?” And I weakly smiled at her.

I knew she knew what had just happened and so had the rest of the district and the Mission President and his wife. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t look anyone in the eye for the rest of the night.

Check our GoodWillintheWorld and Dumbledoresdilemma for their answers! Super funny!